I know that it's really important to do research into STIs. I know we need to stop people dying of AIDS. But did it actually require a study of 419 people to work out that Crack-smoking sex workers have unsafe sex? Apparently if they also work in a crack house they're even more likely to take risks. No shit.

I am now making plans to submit papers on 'Masturbation feels nice', 'Straight men like touching naked women' and 'Sucking a man's cock in a bar without even asking his name first will not result in a marriage proposal'.

Actually, maybe that last one does need research.