I don't think I've had a week this hectic ever before. There's so much that's happened that I'd be at 'War and Peace' length if I was to discuss it all in detail. So, as a brief summary:
Sunday: Spent the day writing and the afternoon standing in my overgrown back garden wearing a frilly white skirt and having shots taken of my muff to illustrate a piece about pubes in the first issue of Scarlet. I'd had to grow them to maximum length for the photoshoot. Strangely, this wasn't quite how I'd imagined I'd be spending my time, when I grew up wanting to have my own women's mag.
Monday: Spent the day at the Xplicit Porn Masterclass making a porn film with Nahid. Our plans to go all female-friendly and safer sex conscious were somewhat kiboshed when it turned out that all the journos from various mags were making one film together, rather than doing separate films. So, we had male TNT pair of journos who wanted a French Maid and policewoman (both female and in suitably pervy outfits, obviously) having 'hot lesbo action'. There was a woman from the Sunday Times who wanted some domination of women in there. We wanted to go with the women being empowered and clearly enjoying what they were doing, and show that the people involved were using a condom. And Loaded wanted a spaceman in it...
Combining that lot obviously resulted in a stunning film that in no way tied into any porn stereotypes - for a full report on it and visuals from the shoot, see the first issue of Scarlet when it comes out in October.
Tuesday: Got a call through from Channel Five asking me if I wanted to be the sexpert on the new Joan Rivers show they're making. I won't be appearing on the show, just writing answers to all of the problems for Joan (if I can be so bold as to call her that) to then add her own inimitable style to. The deadline was 11am the following morning (call came through at about 3pm) Obviously, I had to say yes, despite having a Scarlet editorial meeting to attend before I could get started, and having a million emails to deal with because of Wednesday's planned event.
Wednesday: Was utterly immersed in organising Cliterati's birthday party, dealing with a million requests for guestlist (particularly bad as my email was sulking so half the people I'd invited didn't receive the emails, and loads of RSVPs didn't come through) and doing everything from printing out drinks vouchers to finding a white sheet for us to project erotic images on to. After running round like a mad thing, it all kicked off at 7pm - and God, was it fun (though I hardly had a chance to sit down all night).
Over 200 people came, and much carnage was had. I decided to go for the subtle approach and wore this. (Pictures by the incredible Sauce Goddess.) I felt fab in it, once I'd passed the 'Fuck, is it dark enough in here to hide my cellulite?' stage but God did my arse hurt the next day, from a combination of sitting on the beads and having my arse pinched by random strangers.
I could tell Cliterati is moving up in the world because we actually had celebs at the party - or at least people from Big Brother. Hey, it's a start. They left with bags packed full of sex toys, which is always good for a bit of tabloid interest. Mantric and Trojan were the main sponsors of the party, so there were condoms and toys galore in the bags (the Bedside Bullet proving a particularly good hangover cure the next day. No, really, orgasm is a good cure for headaches.) along with about £100 worth of other random freebies, so it was a bit of a vulture-fest when we started giving them out.
Managed to make a total tit of myself by falling off my stupidly high heels (when will I learn that I can't walk in them?) when dancing with the utterly lovely Paul Zenon (he was a true gent and helped me up, discreetly refraining to mention that maybe I'd had enough to drink...)
Thursday: Recovering from deadly hangover after the party. Got another call from the Joan Rivers show and eight more questions to answer, which was fun in my hungover state. Then landed a commission for Glamour magazine - dead exciting as it's my first from them and it's always cool getting new mags to write for. It was another short deadline though, so I couldn't just laze in bed.
Friday: Got a commission from Men's Health for their Christmas issue. Then had a call about the new Lovers' Guide video script I'm writing. They've done a load of research so I needed to meet up with them to discuss the results and how they would feed into the script. Ended up in the pub discussing it all, and things got rather messy (no, not like that.) I found out that one of the barmen in my local has been in porn films before, so got his card for casting. Just goes to show that the industry is getting everywhere.
Saturday:The weekend - so obviously, I was writing all day. Found some interesting comments about Scarlet on various blogs and ended up replying to them - and possibly recruiting a really talented photographer/writer as a result. Wrote the Glamour piece, and finally managed to finish writing book number two (at 6.20am).
Sunday: Day of rest? Yeah, right. Went through a load of images with Nahid, deciding what we want in the first issue of the mag to illustrate the porn movie cover feature. Then again, there's only so much that you can feel like you're working when you're looking at pics of naked men.
Now, my weekend can start. I've bought magazines and am going to run a bath and collapse. But it's been a fun week.
Posted by emilyd at August 22, 2004 06:30 PM