Thanks to Stuart for sending me this link to Nerve's Bad Erotica Contest. It contains some truly dreadful lines like:
"Their tongues intertwined like snakes slithering in a dance of forbidden love."
"His instrument of devastation was so hard and rigid, it made her flush with the need to consume it. It was as if his cock glowed with ethereal goodness."
"He pushed his sanguine monster of mating back in to his torn khakis... his mission complete and desire sated"
and
"His climax came quickly and furiously, his sex sauce sliding down her throat like slimy alien invaders, guiding down her highly sexual esophagus to her creamy stomach."
It's truly brilliant in its badness. Then again, I can't really mock, having once written the dreadful line:
"How do you like your coffee?"
"Afterwards."
In my defence, having used that very line on someone when I was deeply pissed, it did work.
But it's still God-awful dialogue.
Posted by emilyd at June 04, 2003 11:28 PM