The fabulous Heather Corinna has written a great piece about whether she's too normal to be a sex writer. Sample quote:

"... a friend and colleague, who is a heterosexual male, was asking for ideas of presses he could take his [erotic] book to. My thought process went a bit like this: Well, there's....oh, no, feminist. Or...nope, queer feminist. But how about...oh, mainly gay male. Or...no, all they seem to be doing anymore is fetish.

And it struck me, right in the middle of my freckled forehead that at this juncture in time, smut and sex writing may be one of the only places in the world in which your average hetero white dude is at a serious disadvantage."

Maybe this is why some men (by no means all - most of 'em rock) have a problem with female sex writers?