It's been a shamefully long time since I've last updated this but no one can accuse me of being lazy. In the almost a year since I've last updated this site, I've:
Written three books - Bound to Please, The Fantasy Box and Friendly Fetish
Co-edited an erotica anthology Ultimate Burlesque - for free - because it's designed to raise money for Macmillan as part of the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer initiative (of which more later)
Posed naked with 2,500 other people for a Spencer Tunick art installation in Dublin, standing ankle-deep in the Irish sea at 6am in the name of work. Oddly, it got rid of my cold.
Been a naked sushi girl (you guessed it, work again) and had about 20 mates nibbling sushi from my rather cold body.
Gone on a tantric BDSM course with the wonderful Dossie Easton. I didn't come but I did end up sobbing cathartically along with the half of the room that weren't screaming in orgasm
Learned how to belly dance (badly) with my mum and ended up in hysterics with a silk scarf over my head. I won't give up the day job.
Modelled in a strap on fashion show and learned more about strap on harnesses than I ever thought I would.
Done a stand up comedy gig for a feature and got offered a proper booking by a real promoter at the end of it. I still haven't had the guts to set the date but am very tempted.
Given up the commission that got me doing so much smutty/brazen stuff because three years of filth and debauchery was enough - at least in the line of work
Moved in with my lovely bloke
Had my genitals cast while getting it on with aforementioned lovely bloke (for work, obviously, before I resigned the commission)
Got engaged to the same lovely bloke (Well, as he was prepared to get his genitals cast for me then it seemed only fair. I got a diamond, he got a titanium band. I figured if I'm wearing a ring to signify I'm taken, it's only fair that he does too and diamonds just don't suit him)
Created the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer initiative helped by the lovely Sam (aforementioned, err, fiance. God, that's an ugly word. There should be a better one given that I've been all honeymoon period all over again ever since we got engaged so it's not an ugly thing at all) and Fiona Fletcher (a fantastically talented and hardworking woman even if Sam and I are convinced she has an invisible husband) along with hundreds (literally) of other people.
The latter has been taking up almost all my spare time. We had a late night screening of Moulin Rouge complete with can can girls and the incredible 'professional cad' Atters, last night, at the Duke of York Picture House, to kick off the whole Burlesque Against Breast Cancer thing in Brighton. People drank lots of the free wine which Barefoot Wine kindly supplied us with, meaning that everyone was toasted enough to clap along to the can can, cheer every time something nice happened in the film and boo at the baddies in the film which made it way more exciting than the usual film screening. Best of all, we raised £1,000 for Macmillan which is what it was all about.
But there's still a lot to do. The Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Ball is happening on 6th October so I'm currently immersed in frantically PRing it, securing last minute sponsors and generally doing my best to make sure we sell out all the tickets despite the credit crunch. It's a cause that's really close to my heart because my mum got breast cancer at the end of last year - which was a hideously traumatic time, as you can imagine, but thankfully she's had the lump removed, the cancer hasn't spread and she's through her radiotherapy - and Macmillan were so great with her that I wanted to give something back.
So without further ado, here's the gratuitous plug.
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What do Madonna, Mick Jaggar, Fatboy Slim, Richard Branson, Snoop Dog and the Fun Lovin’ Criminals have in common? They’ve all been wowed by acts that are performing at the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Ball this November - and you can too for only £50, in aid of Macmillan cancer support.
Tickets include:
Complementary glass of wine on arrival
Gourmet canapés
Table magic
Luxury goodie bags
A mind-blowing two hour show featuring:
• New York City’s signature aerialists Mantryx, with Melissa Marie, who’ve performed in over 70 countries and recently shared stages with Snoop Dog, Madonna and Vanessa Williams
“A truly impressive trio of balletic acrobats scaling, twisting and somersaulting around a twisted silk curtain.” The Stage
• Ministry of Burlesque founder Kittie Klaw
“The beating heart of the British burlesque scene.” Bizarre Magazine
• 5-star Edinburgh review winning Eric Walton
“A master class in card magic and mentalism, served up with an arch intellectualism that doesn't take itself too seriously…an absolute pleasure. His sleight of hand is superb.” The Times
• Sultry pocket-sized cabaret siren, Dolores Delight
“One of the hottest burlesque acts on the planet.” Bizarre magazine
• MTV Festival Summer coverage host, Desmond O’ Connor
"A high degree of musical wit and lyricism…a thrill to watch." The Guardian
• Award-winning comedian The Boy With Tape on His Face
“His very likeable mad scientist of vaudevillian pranks will stand out in this year’s laugh fest.”New Zealand Theatre Review
• Burlesque bombshell Cherri Shakewell who’s performed for Soulwax, Richard Branson, Fatboy Slim and the Fun Lovin Criminals
“Damn, can the girl dance. Not just a pretty-in-timewith- the-beat, wiggling, provocative, technically sound kinda way. But screaming the kind of confidence that makes the room shut up and stare.” Latest 7
• Patti Plinko and Her Boy, fresh from 5-star Edinburgh reviews and a recent duet with Camille O’Sullivan
"Like a mad Doris Day meets PJ Harvey" Amanda Palmer, Dresden Dolls
• Lili La Scala, a swellegant, elegant vintage bombshell and favourite at festivals around the world
You’ll also have the chance to be photographed in your finery and bid in the charity auction for items including a Kylie Gold Disc, a session with the Barefoot Doctor, dinner for six at Claridges, a designer corset, a body casting session and exclusive artwork.
Tickets are available from The Old Market or by calling the box office on 01273 736222. Everyone who buys a table of six or more tickets will go into a prize draw to win a seduction hamper worth over £300. Buy your ticket today and secure your place at the biggest burlesque show Brighton has ever seen.
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OK, plug over but please do at least one of the following:
a) Book a ticket
b) Harangue your friends so you can get a table together
c) Convince your boss to buy a corporate table
d) Convince your boss to give us sponsorship money (even a few hundred pounds will help Macmillan) - or if you run your own company, chuck some marketing budget our way. It'll be worth it.
e) If you work in PR, send us stuff for the goodie bags or put up a prize for the raffle/auction
f) If you're a journalist or blogger, write about the ball to encourage other people to buy tickets and the book
g) Buy the Ultimate Burlesque book
h) Help us hand out flyers if you're based in Brighton
i) Get creative and think of other ways you can help the cause
There's more info about all the other things that are happening at BurlesqueABC.com and I'll be doing a reading at Notting Hill Waterstones on 9th October, along with a load of fantastic writers from the anthology and some fab burlesquers, so come along if you fancy finding out more.
Right, that's the sales pitch over. I'm taking a break now - working at 12.40 on a Saturday night is no fun at all. But I won't leave it so long before posting next time and I promise there will be more anecdotes and less plugging. It's just such a great cause that I want to make sure the event goes as well as it possibly can. Thanks for reading.
